Interpreting Reality

One important revelation you can have is to understand that you can interpret each passing moment exactly as you choose to, maybe not exactly, but at least to some extent.

There is more than one way to interpret almost anything happening around you.

For example, a friend just sent over 30 photos from one party. One way to think about this is to say to yourself, “Why do I need so many photos? Is he nuts sending me all this?” Another way is, “Great! I have all those photos! So many photos to choose from! I can pick the one I like the most! Yay!”

Or a car just cut me off on a highway. “What a jerk!” Or, “Maybe he is rushing to the hospital to see his very sick child and needs to be there as soon as possible.”

Those beliefs or stories you tell yourself do not have to be true. It does not matter if they are true or not, or unknown as in most cases. They can be true for you, and maybe for some period of time. You decide. Those beliefs eventually give rise to your emotions and how you feel. They play a role in the quality of your day. Derek Sivers, who is also pondering on this subject, says, “Don’t care whether something is true — only whether it works for you."

An old story tells of three stonecutters asked what they were doing. The first looked unhappy. He said, “Making a living cutting stones.” The second looked happier and proud. He kept on hammering while he said, “Doing the best job of stone-cutting in the entire country.” The third one looked up with a visionary gleam in his eyes and said, “Building a cathedral.” ¹

In This is Water speech, David Wallace talks about your ‘default state’ of thinking (that ‘What a Jerk!’ thought). David refers to it as an ‘unconscious state’ which we risk ending up in if we do not pay attention to our mind, what ‘it’ thinks about, and our deep vested assumptions. I say what ‘it’ thinks because if you spend even the smallest amount of time studying your mind, you will very quickly realize this is an autopilot or a room-mate that lives in your head is, as weird as it sounds, doing the thinking for you.

When you declare a belief to be true, it closes your mind, cements your identity, and is so strong that it can lead to fights (and wars) with anyone who doesn’t find that belief to be true.

But there is more to just thinking and feeling. The associated emotions that come from your belief dictate the things you actually do. One belief makes you act generously. Another belief makes you act selfish. One belief makes you stand up and go for a run, the other makes you sit down and work.

You can cherry-pick to hold onto the thoughts and beliefs that lead to the actions that are desirable and drop the ones that are not. It can be especially helpful in helping to develop a new habit or reach a goal. It sounds simple and logical in theory.

But how to do all of this in practice? What are good goals to choose? How to find the most powerful belief for a given goal? Can we believe something we know isn’t true? How do we uncover the beliefs we don’t know we hold? How do you know that your beliefs have changed for real, and it’s not just wishful thinking? What is a belief? How is it shaped? How can you explore and deconstruct it? There is a lot to unpack and uncover².

One broad statement that I believe holds true is that the quality of an individual’s thoughts can greatly impact the quality of their life, as perceived by themselves rather than by others. This implies that the type of thoughts one habitually lives with can shape their outlook, behaviour, and overall well-being.